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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nardicles' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, February 11th, 2018
9:32 am
Passive Caring

Recently at work, a coworker whom I've seen around the building, but never talk to or knew had gotten into an accident and has been hospitalized.  Or course it is unfortunate for someone to get into an accident; anyone regardless if they're a coworker or not.  To show sympathy (or to actively care), I would think one would pay a visit to the hospital or write a card to him.  None of which I did, because, frankly, I don't know him. Sounds insincere, but let me continue.  So an admin staff comes around the office saying don't forget to sign the "get well" poster for him by Thursday.  I'm thinking to myself, how shallow is it that one is writing a "get well" message because you were asked to, not because you wanted to initially.  And additionally, you don't even know the person! If i was the on the receiving end, i would think, who are these people?  And do they really care?

I feel like i'm exposing some flaws about myself in this posting. neurosis? but whichevers.

If you can deduce, you can probably tell that i'm the type of person that doesn't like small talk :)

Thursday, November 24th, 2016
12:57 am
crushing v2
so today was for the most part pretty good in terms of handling this crush. Throughout the day, i realized that i can't keep going on like this due to my handling of my first ex. Almost seems like it was 10yrs wasted over my insecurities. so now that i'm more comfortable under my own skin, i know better than to keep dwelling on this crush. or I am at least aware of what it is doing to me. having this constantly on my mind is preventing me from living in the moment; i keep fantasizing about something that may not ever happen. and it seems likely that i won't ever happen.

so how i see it or think of it, she was feeling me out the day she came to my desk and we talked about my dog, Picasso, who recently passed away at the time, and how she mentioned her ex when she had to put her dog down around valentine's day this year. it seemed like she was seeing if i liked her or not. i wasn't too expressive as i can be good at being expressionless at times. so she was probably under the impression that i didn't have any interest in her. possibly. truth is, i wasn't trying to pursue her because of how closely i worked with her. And considering how my past dating experience is, we may not have a lasting relationship which would than strain our work relationship. this was something i was not wanting to try, considering i get weirded out about stuff like this.

so the next week after she was feeling me out, she mentioned she was going out with her boyfriend (which i discuss two posts earlier). so i'm thinking she wanted to see where i stood before she committed to this other guy when she came to may desk just a week prior! of course, i could be completely wrong, but that's what's going thru my mind.

so now she's in what could be a great relationship. but then comes the news where she will be moving to another program early next year. this coupled with the phone calls i got from her while she was on the east coast (which i discuss in my previous post). so i'm thinking if i were to try something, it would be when she moves to the other program because i won't be interfacing with her on a daily basis anymore. but, that idea seemed to go crashing down because i didn't feel much of a connection yesterday when i chatted with her at her desk, two days before thanksgiving.

so now, i'm at a point where i understand i may need to let go of this crush. or perhaps the timing is just not right. hard to except. so she is off all of next week. at least i won't be seeing her. maybe that's a good thing. we'll see how i feel and react when she returns. it may be telling how she feels when or if she shows me her pictures. just maybe. we shall see...

Current Mood: better
Friday, September 21st, 2012
12:15 am
day 33 (thursday)
morning grogginess: struggled getting outta bed. wondering if it was because i ate kinda late (~9:15p). or the beer i had? or work-related stress?

breakfast: cereal, coffee
lunch: pot stickers, steamed veggies
dinner: one and a half bison burgers, chips, beer
12:11 am
day 32 (wednesday)
morning grogginess: the pizza i had the night before really messed with me trying to wake up. i think i snoozed for about 40 minutes.

breakfast: coffee
lunch: chicken teriyaki with california roll, a couple small snickers bars
dinner: 5 rolled black bean tacos, 1 beer
Tuesday, September 18th, 2012
10:50 pm
day 31 (tuesday)
morning grogginess: so i went to sleep at around 12:30a last night. a little later than i'd liked, but i just wasn't tired enough to sleep earlier. ended up rolling outta bed at about 8a. again, a little later than i'd like, but i slept late.

breakfast: 3 mini pound cakes, coffee
lunch: 1 beef/bean burrito (Trader Joe's)
dinner: slice of Italia pizza (vegetarian) with 1 beer. had this at about 9:15p. It's 10:50p right now and i'm still feeling stuffed. should've ate less, but i forgot how late it was
Monday, September 17th, 2012
11:56 pm
day 30 (monday)
okay, so i skipped a couple days. whoop.

had four beers saturday night. two of them were IPA's. yikes. woke up 9:15 the next day.

okay for today, monday...

morning grogginess: pretty typical monday. although a little worse than last week. i'm sure the saturday night drinking didn't help.

breakfast: cereal, coffee
lunch: left over spaghetti from last night's dinner. 3 of the mini pound cakes from Lee Lee's. a handful of pistachios
dinner: fish burrito from Taquito Jalisco.....the BEST!!!
Saturday, September 15th, 2012
12:18 am
day 27 (friday)
morning grogginess: so i had the veggie pizza last night with a beer. also had some chips and salsa. i'm going to put this one on stress. i just didn't want to get outta bed. ended up rolling out at about 8:20.

breakfast: coffee
lunch: 5 rolled tacos (black bean)
dinner: 3 chicken tenders at about 7p. 1 beer. then had some canh khoai sot at anh thanh's with a second beer.
Friday, September 14th, 2012
8:08 pm
day 26 (thursday)
morning grogginess: so maybe i shouldn't have had that double double. i had it about 8:30p. then drove for about an hour and a half up to mesa. had a beer when i got home at about 11p. ended up going to bed at around 12:30a. despite the burger being a relatively small meal, i felt a little more groggy than i expected. so aside from the quantity of food consumed the night before, the quality definately plays a role i'd say....quality being less meats.

breakfast: banana, coffee
lunch: pot stickers, steamed veggies (chips and salsa)
dinner: lavosh pizza from Pita jungle (vegetarian)
Thursday, September 13th, 2012
12:06 am
day 25 (wednesday)
morning grogginess: so yeah, i should've known what to expect from eating the chicken sandwich with curly fries from Native last night. this morning, i didn't want to leave bed. although i did wake up at 6:30a for no apparent reason.

breakfast: banana, coffee
lunch: bean & cheese burrito with rice and potato. had 3 fun size snickers bars mid-afternoon
dinner: double double animal style (In n' Out) Had this at about 8:30 in tucson just before heading up to Mesa after work. Had a beer when i got home at about 10:30p.
12:03 am
day 24 (tuesday)
morning grogginess: can't remember. must've been nothing extreme.

breakfast: leftover pasta salad from Dilly's Deli
lunch: subway club, with pickle (from dilly's deli). had 4 fun size snicker's bars in the evening.
dinner: chicken club sandwich with curly fries from Native New Yorker w/ one tall beer.
Monday, September 10th, 2012
10:55 pm
day 23 (monday)
morning grogginess: had the alarm set at 7:30a. rolled outta bed at about 7:50. Pretty pretty good considering it was a Monday. I guess waking up at about 8a to feed the dogs this past weekend helped maintain my sleep cycle.

Breakfast: bowl of cereal, coffee
Lunch: Reuben sandwich from Dilly's Deli (some Salt & Vinegar chips during the US OPEN match)
Dinner: Black Bean burrito from Trader Joe's, 1 beer
10:52 pm
day 22 (sunday)
forgot to post last night. argg. was a bit exhaust having to house/dog sit for Dan this weekend up till this morning. US Open Men's Final today. brother texted me at 4:45p about it. totally forgot about til he mentioned it. so i stopped work for a bit to watch the match. pretty damn good. Djokavic vs Murray. Murray takes it in 5 sets. in almost 5hrs!

Grogginess: not too bad considering i had to wake up somewhat early to go to Dan's house to let the dogs out and feed them. I think i rolled outta bed at about 8:15a.

Breakfast: Left over dim sum from Saturday (seafood dumpling, sticky rice)
Lunch: Hummus with pita chips
Dinner: 5 rolled tacos (Trader Joe's, black bean), 1 beer
Sunday, September 9th, 2012
3:37 pm
day 21 (saturday)
watching US Open Women's Final. 3rd set. Azeranka (1) up against Serena Williams (4).

Morning Grogginess: Maybe because i was a bit stressed from work. or the fries i had for dinner. maybe the butter on the bread/toast on the veggie burger. but ended getting outta bed at about 8:45am.... a little later than i'd like. Can't remember if i set the alarm for 7:30 or not.

Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: Dim Sum
Dinner: Guacamole dip. Crab tostada. Fish taco. some beans/rice. 24oz of beer.
Friday, September 7th, 2012
11:09 pm
day 20
okay, went to bed a little late last night because of the show at the Crescent. Unfortunately i forgot to set the alarm (to 7:30) and ended up waking up at 8:50a. considering the crazy week, i didnt' care.

morning grogginess: maybe because im stressed, i did not want to wake up. and because it was cloudy out, it seemed earlier than normal, so that may have had an effect on me. i'll admit, the morning was a little slow though. started eating my cereal on the couch rather at my desk. now that's a first.

breakfast: cereal, coffee
lunch: 2 chimichangas, hummus and pita chips
dinner: veggie burger with fries at Mad Hatter w/ 2 beers
12:21 am
day 19
i'm beat. simply beat. exhausted from work and just played a show at the Crescent tonight.

morning grogginess: almost the same as the last few days. woke up not so tired, but also not wide-eyed and awake. actually snoozed for about 10 minutes bc there was no rush to get to work (working from home today)

Breakfast: cereal, coffee
Lunch: Ramen with mushroom, tomato, and egg
Dinner: 3 beers and some hummus dip. i would have a larger meal but i wasn't free until after the show which was about 11:30p. and i didn't want a big meal before bed. the hummus will hold me off till manana.

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012
9:16 pm
day 17
10hr work day today. pretty busy at work and making some progress. still lots more to do.

Morning grogginess: had the alarm set at 7:30a. door bell rang at 7:27a. a bit tired, but not so groggy. tired enough stay in bed for about 10 minutes before getting out. went to bed at about 11:30p. For the most part, had a pretty good nights rest.

breakfast: coffee, boston creme donut
lunch: 4 slices of pizza. domino's thin crust
dinner: spicy lobster roll, soft shell crab roll, ademame, miso soup, small squid salad, large asahi beer.
Monday, September 3rd, 2012
11:07 pm
day 16
monday 9.3.12

morning grogginess: similar to sunday, woke up at 7:30a, but wasn't too anxious to get outta bed. i also wasn't groggy enough to rush back to sleep. somewhat mentally awake, but physically not ready. snoozed for about 15 minutes.

breakfast: banana. chorizo, potato, egg, and cheese burrito (food city). had breakfast a little late at around 11a.
lunch: nothing. midafternoon snack: coconut/strawberry cake from food city. late afternoon, had some Gardetto's and a boston creme donut.
dinner: had dinner late at about 9:45p. antipasto salad from Eegee's. w/one bottle of beer.
11:03 pm
day 15
sunday 9.2.12

morning grogginess: had the alarm set at 7:30a. i think i ended up rolling outta bed at 8a. wasn't too bad really. although i was awake mentally, my body wasn't really to get outta....hence the 30 minute delay/snooze.

breakfast: coffee
lunch: fish burrito
dinner: two tamales w/steamed veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots) had a couple bottles of beer.
Saturday, September 1st, 2012
11:19 pm
day 14
saturday 9/1/12

needed to start training up for the tour de scottsdale, so i went on a 22 mile ride today. not a really long ride, but considering the heat today, i'm satisfied. initially wanted to do 30miles, but starting the ride at 4:15p may have been a bit too early. almost drank up all the water i brought along (2 bottles)

morning grogginess: ended up going to bed early last night, at about 11p. woke up at about 2:45a again. i thought it was 6am when i awoke. kinda weird how i keep waking up at this time. ended up rolling outta bed at 9am. a little later than i'd like. shoulda set the alarm. grogginess: not bad considering i slept 10hrs! actually when i saw it was 9a, i knew i slept more than enough, and that alone was motivation to get outta bed.

breakfast: coffee
lunch: left over slice of Digiorno from last night.
dinner: katsu chicken plate with tossed salad. 2 beers later in the evening. salt & vinegar chips not too long ago.
12:49 pm
day 13
Friday 8/31/12

Morning Grogginess: despite having ramen with veggies for diner the night before (and no beer), grogginess factor was a little on the high side.

breakfast: cereal, coffee
lunch: chicken bake (costco), left over broccoli.
dinner: digiorno pizza (2 slices), 2 bottles of beer (Sierra Nevada)
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